September 19, 2020 - Lucky
A few months ago, I was about to get a little heart attack, but somehow I controlled my emotion and skipped it, but I do not forget the intensity of the pain.
In my life, I have many heartbreaks like we all do but believe me, “the pain never reduces”!
You might be interested in my story, but let focus on these questions, which broke me and changed me.
This time I lost my job, my one-sided relationship is gone south, and my insecurities are on the high peaks. You can say I had a pretty much-broken mind and heart, and my BFF asked me these three questions.
And a bonus argument, “you do not have any communication skills.”
Well, if I were ten years younger from the current age of mine, then the punching bag gets destroyed at the moment.
However, this time, my heartbeats start raging at a higher rate and get uncontrolled. I don’t know how it happens. My rational mind jumped in and stopped my thoughts and get focus on breathing. I can feel this is different. I can die if I am not careful with it.
My BFF knows He already gave me many questions like this in the past, and I always bounced back.
One day he told me “I never saw someone like you whom I can say these things, and He worked on it instead of being quiet or break friendship with me.”
He added, “I know the risk of losing the friendship, but If I am not telling the bad points about you, then I am not doing my job.”
He is right to some degree, but this time a fire broke out inside me. I start feeling I am a loser. I did not have done anything in my lifetime. I do not have any achievement, no skills, no knowledge, no status, no respect, anything I don’t have.
All the funny thing which I was doing with him is starting to look like foolishness. I got thoughts about he is way ahead of me. I am not in his league. His level is so much higher than me.
So, how can I stand with him on the same ground is a big question in my mind now.
See, he has a lot of skills, and he is a hard worker, but why I start comparing myself with him, the comparison is not the right thing to do.
Because in his views, he was right.
I have done a lot of work in my life for became a successful businessman, but I change my ways so many times, I alter my thought and desire for many peoples, including My Boss, colleagues, society, my friends, and parents.
And always lose What I desired in my life. I want to be famous, and now no one knows me. Most of my life spent in front of the computer screen.
“I hate it.”
So when he asked me, he was under the impression I will understand, but this truth hit me like a rock on the mirror and shattered everything inside me.
And I did not take the direction as he expected, even I don’t expect it for myself. I became unpredictable. For a minute, I stayed very calm and in another minute like an erupted volcano.
So Don’t try, Don’t try to make everyone happy, don’t alter your ways and thoughts, let them grow as they are.
Eventually, no one will be happy with you all the time, but if you have built some status, some business, they know you have something important to care for, and they will deal themselves with most of their unhappiness.
Now, my BFF and others also have many ideas on which we can work and be successful, but I do not feel like they are mine or my thoughts.
So, Decide one thing, post, or destination, which you want to do by your self without any help and do it for yourself. Think about it, and put your effort into it all by yourself.
Raise money for it, put your effort, learn in or outs about it, deal with daily problems for it and make it successful all by yourself.
So, You can have a thing which is just for you and made by you.
And for communication skills, don’t take stress too much about it. Some people can talk well, some talk badly, some talk normally if I don’t have any communication skills then, how I am talking to you and many other people.
After a time being, my frequency of listening increased.