Life, Self thought

Why we procrastinate in Daily life?

May 16, 2020 - Lucky

Do you ever think why you have start working daily without planning, why you are wasting your time in unnecessary phone calls to make some clearance between you a client, why you just start working on given projects without thinking?

Why you keep working for others and keep aside our own goals, why our goals are sided jobs in our daily life, ok its enough whys….

At this point I just want to say you are not alone everybody doing it at some point and its ok but if it is your daily routine then its time to wake up…. Without wasting time let’s see the reasons.

How to check what happening with you?

If you and I google then we can find so many reasons and solutions, but hey it is about you and me so the responsibility of finding its reason and solutions is also ours, yes you heard right this is also the very first reason and solution… here how?

As I See, try to observe your own experience in it, this is an internal problem so, so why you looking for external reasons and solutions.

Just observe what is causing this procrastinate problem and solve it by your own experience and learning in the daily file, everybody is unique so you will always have some unique experiences just observe them from now.

My story:-

Like you, I am also procrastinating in daily life and doing all those things I have written above in this post and got stuck in some circumstances for years and nothing much happens even I am working hard I am trying to fulfill every responsibility which is given to me.

Even despite these lots of efforts I am failing daily (it is just a part of life don’t think about it too much) and nothing much happens, I am always a victim of fate and others….

Yes, you heard it right, I always have the victim mentality and other’s perceptions is too important for me which stops me taking my own responsibilities and just for making other happy (most of the time I just want them to accept me and validate me) I took every responsibly from them even they are out of my work scope because they give it little a push, just some sentimental sentence, and my emotions are all pumped up to win the unknown war completely out of my scope just for little acceptation and validation.

Seeking of other’s validation makes me week and I start running from my own responsibility for myself, my goals, my life, and what I want to give my friends and family. I always think I will do my own projects at the end of the day but we all know how much energy, mindset, willingness, and focus we have at the end of the day (most of us just want to eat and sleep nothing else).

So that’s it… We want validation, stop taking our own responsibilities took other unnecessary responsibilities, and boom we are in the game of validation and blaming with everything and everyone.

 The Side effects I have!

  1. I Develop False confidence. (Read Mark Manson’s book “Models: attract women through honesty”).
  2. I Develop a Victim mentality.
  3. Stop taking self-responsibilities.
  4. Overbearing myself with other valid invalid demands.
  5. Stuck In a position for years.
  6. Stop being vulnerable, even I want to (Read Brené Brown’s Book “Daring Greatly.” ).
  7. Also have desperation for 10 years.

How I am going to solve it probably you will do the same!

See the above problems and situation I have just told you, that just makes me an average person (which is ok, stop caring about it.) also make me angry and sad and my results in my every area of life is so miserable like I don’t have much friends to talk, don’t have any girlfriend, don’t have much of social life, never experience how to feels like travel to the world, do some crazy thing, have a relationship, win a prize (I never get one, even I was worthy.), etc.

But I have a great friend who gave me some books and after reading a handful of good books I start solving my problems and observing myself, the fun fact is he always told me to just read a book and I always start doing practice with them.

In the very recent observation of myself, I find out, I too much care about how my family, some girls, my boss and my friends think about me (for most of us, people out of this circle doesn’t matter, but these are our most emotional circle so they matter.) and I am modifying my own personality for them, when I realize that, I saw that is too much so I just start loosing thought of proving them I am good at everything and will do everything for them and slowly start getting success on it.

Now when their perception of me is out of line in my mindset I stop feeling like a victim and start being more vulnerable it is ok if I am doing some mistake, I am not Look like Brad Pitt or do not know how to dance….

And I start looking at what I have, Like I can write, I can make the website, I can make designs, I can do photograph, I can write Poems (Mostly for girls, but hey it is me. 😉) and most important thing….

I don’t want to compare my qualities to anyone else, I can offer you this only, if you want it, we can hand out for some time…. 😊 

this very first post which I am writing is the effect of my true confidence and I don’t care who loves and hate it, I just want to share it with the thought of helping you, If it doesn’t who Cares 😉.

 A Short Action plan:-

  1. Observer yourself and your emotion.
  2. Once you spot your patterns then stop seeking other validations.
  3. Start looking at your own qualities and start enhancing them.
  4. Start care about yourself, life goals, and your dreams.
  5. Understand your own responsibilities.
  6. Start taking actions (BTW at this point if you understand your responsibilities you already have started kicking.).